For me, cinema was always a huge, white screen where magic began; until for the first time I saw a video camera closely.Now I could choose what to see exactly, I could watch people from distance or get close enough to them in order to gaze into their eyes. The world I saw through the camera lens was more appealing.In those days video cameras were big and heavy for my little body. But as I grew older, the cameras became smaller and lighter. As I was thinking that I was approaching the dream of being a filmmaker, this sentence was getting heavier than any weight: “filming is not feminine”; while, despite the existence of slim bodies in the world around me, cameras make no restrictions, in any way.
And I stayed with this question in my mind: “How can one not carry camera that has become lighter over time, but can bear the burden of their sadness, limitations and their suppressed desires without feeling overwhelmed?”
So I started recording these moments, not by using motion pictures, but the pictures that were seemingly immobilized.The first restriction for me was the lack of tools (the camera). A Photographer without camera …
The pictures were being recorded in my mind, framed in the most beautiful way and hung on behind the wall of my mind.The audience of my photos was none other than me.This dream was getting closer to reality with my first camera phone which was able to capture photographs. My mind had no boundaries and accept no gender-based restrictions, but the world around me reminded me of those restrictions every day.Therefore, I recorded the pains, the limitations and the suppressed desires rooted in my subconscious. My dreams coming from deep inside me, suppressed in my consciousness and were free in my sleeps. Although I still haven’t been able to achieve the dream of film-making, life is going on before and after my photos. Unlike the cinema where the pictures tell you what to watch, I tell you one thing; see your story the way you want to.